chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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