Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
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I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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