We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
