After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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