didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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