My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
