Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and i looked up. we had an audience...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
