omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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