I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
