Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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