My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
