seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
