Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
