Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize