I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
