Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
