So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
