exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
