The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
