Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
