I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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