Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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