ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
