Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
