the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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