check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
