Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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