i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
