Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
