i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just high enough for therapy.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
