Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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