I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
the liver wants what the liver wants
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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