alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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