I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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