it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Walk of Shame today included voting.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
