Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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