she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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