Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize