Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Pants are for mortals
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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