I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
