But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
