Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize