I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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