oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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