I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
