I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
