Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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