white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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