Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My breasts were aching with rage.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize