did you get engaged???
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
