did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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