Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
