i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
