Michael Bay diarrhea
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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