Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
