The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
