jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My breasts were aching with rage.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
