I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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