The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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