you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
