the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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