Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
