At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
