Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
