You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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