he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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