I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
