If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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