well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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