I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
