Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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  (248) I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet http://tfl.nu/r3zv
  Replies (4) Good night (1425) Bad night (901)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

  (1-620): View more from Kansas

  No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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  (620): Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night. (1-620): No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man. http://tfl.nu/p24k
  Replies (9) Good night (1588) Bad night (649)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need to rekindle our bromance

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  (512): We need to rekindle our bromance http://tfl.nu/aprz
  Replies (48) Good night (8812) Bad night (1512)
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  (530): View more from California

  We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.

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  (530): We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers. http://tfl.nu/jnk6
  Replies (17) Good night (4449) Bad night (1121)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.

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  (843): I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car. http://tfl.nu/mri5
  Replies (11) Good night (1296) Bad night (3687)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.

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  (732): wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip. http://tfl.nu/kp6r
  Replies (10) Good night (3540) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom

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  (847): I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom http://tfl.nu/peqw
  Replies (8) Good night (1367) Bad night (2276)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.

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  (413): It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element. http://tfl.nu/cv3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1829) Bad night (750)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.

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  (416): Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse. http://tfl.nu/9wwo
  Replies (10) Good night (3565) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.

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  (352): He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now. http://tfl.nu/h06b
  Replies (9) Good night (2234) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.

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  (919): Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it. http://tfl.nu/kkz9
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months

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  (614): For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months http://tfl.nu/aakj
  Replies (9) Good night (409) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.

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  (902): I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks. http://tfl.nu/hv7j
  Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence

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  (403): I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence http://tfl.nu/jxt9
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.

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  (425): For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk. http://tfl.nu/75eh
  Replies (1) Good night (251) Bad night (142)

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