Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.