Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much

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  (917): his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much http://tfl.nu/cn35
  Replies (30) Good night (1657) Bad night (5162)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.

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  (561): george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it. http://tfl.nu/x2j0
  Replies (159) Good night (6071) Bad night (2084)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.

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  (443): Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit. http://tfl.nu/7z3f
  Replies (20) Good night (3656) Bad night (860)
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  (510): View more from California

  On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.

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  (510): On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible. http://tfl.nu/nz5p
  Replies (32) Good night (8559) Bad night (1330)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.

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  (440): i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too. http://tfl.nu/6m2a
  Replies (15) Good night (1237) Bad night (2922)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.

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  (845): You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately. http://tfl.nu/vwdv
  Replies (9) Good night (5648) Bad night (1084)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.

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  (941): I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch. http://tfl.nu/0s5t
  Replies (16) Good night (2983) Bad night (1218)
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  (714): View more from California

  Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

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  (714): Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty" http://tfl.nu/39ju
  Replies (7) Good night (1357) Bad night (2007)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual

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  (864): she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual http://tfl.nu/fkyx
  Replies (3) Good night (1376) Bad night (812)
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  (323): View more from California

  How did I end up in the pool?!

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to ASU

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  (323): How did I end up in the pool?! (480): Welcome to ASU http://tfl.nu/zi7q
  Replies (8) Good night (2449) Bad night (715)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.

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  (570): Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days. http://tfl.nu/pn6d
  Replies (4) Good night (1159) Bad night (546)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'll start the recruiting

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  (870): I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!" (501): I'll start the recruiting http://tfl.nu/vx2o
  Replies (2) Good night (1065) Bad night (331)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.

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  (727): Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning. http://tfl.nu/1b4x
  Replies (4) Good night (591) Bad night (233)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.

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  (269): I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest. http://tfl.nu/z8nn
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (359)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  That is romantic

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care

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  (309): That is romantic (1-309): Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care http://tfl.nu/p5uo
  Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (142)

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