I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.