The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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