btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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