Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
