she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
